This time of year can be really difficult especially as we are moving into the Holiday Season. Not to mention that we have all been surviving in a global pandemic for the last 8 months! If you are planning to get together with a small group of friends or family this Holiday Season, I wanted to take some time to provide a few tips for getting through the awkward conversations we all tend to have about our bodies and what we consume this time of year.
You know exactly what I mean. Grandma has to make a comment on how you should not be eating that second slice of pie (I say go for it though!) or your closest friend makes a comment on how great you look: “you are so dedicated to your meal plan, I wish I had that discipline!”. Enough is enough! We need to stop commenting on others’ bodies and what other people eat and here’s why.
First, when commenting on others’ bodies it unconsciously sends the message that their body is not good enough the way it is without the rules and regulations we put on it. When commenting on how great your loved one looks, we are essentially telling them that if their body changes in any way, shape, or form, that their body is no longer worthy. Just a little hint: you are worthy regardless of how your body looks. Your body does not define your worth as a human being!
Secondly, when we tell someone that they should not have that second slice of pie, we are sending the message that if they don’t restrict (mentally or emotionally), then they are not disciplined. Oof – what a message to send! You know, actually back in the primal days, humans would eat as much as they could in order to feel a sense of security. Food was scarce for humans, and when they had the chance to eat, it felt good and comforting. By telling someone they are not disciplined, you are denying their biological response to food, and their innate ability to eat until satisfied.
Lastly, our society is SO good at equating body size with health. This one frustrates me to my core! In case you were unaware, the size or shape of someone’s body does not determine their overall health. You know what does determine someone’s health? Access to medical care, genetics, environmental factors, mental and emotional well-being! Guess what all of these things lack: weight and BMI!
Now that I discussed why it is important to not comment on physical bodies during this Holiday Season (or ever!), I will leave you with some non-appearance related compliments that your loved ones will get so much more out of! I hope these help!
- It is so good to see you!
- You have the best laugh!
- You totally inspire me!
- Thank you for being such a great support in my life!
- I love spending time with you!
- I always feel like I can be myself around you!