A Couples Guide to Managing Codependency In a Relationship


There are many couples and individuals who do not understand what concept of codependency. Moreover, they cannot even conceptualize the idea of managing codependency in a relationship. Do you depend on your loved one’s endorsement to better identify yourself and your value in the relationship? Provided that this is true, you may fit into the category of being codependent.

Some other situations to consider assessing your level of codependency in a relationship:

  • There may regularly more notably levels of sacrifice on your part to better fulfill your partner’s needs bucket.
  • If you are tenacious or feel lacking as an individual more than you are as a couple, that can be another solid marker you may illustrate codependent behaviors.
  • Presenting with more consistent anxiety may be another indication of codependency in a relationship.

Inquire with family members or friends outside of the relationship as to whether you are too reliant on your partner. In case of demonstrating codependent behaviors, almost certainly, can be noticeable from the outside looking in.

6 tips to assist in managing codependency in a relationship:

Create an energizing and satisfying life as an individual

Construct a day to day existence that you adore. Consider the sort of life you would prefer to have and start constructing it. Try not to rely upon another person to help assemble it for you.

Make a rundown of activities you most appreciate or might want to try but haven’t taken the opportunity to discover. Look for others that can partake in those moments with you and share in the experience.  

Involving others outside of your relationship is key. Find your people who share in similar passions and values to engage in activities with. Develop your own group of acquaintances. This will lessen the likelihood of being dependent upon your partner’s approval. Practicing this will allow you to become more effective at managing codependency in a relationship.

Make customary plans with companions and acquaintances. These plans can be a regularly scheduled meeting for supper after work or going on a hike in the morning. The more opportunity you better yourself as an individual will bring a better version of yourself into any relationship.

Find a vocation that you find satisfying and rewarding. On the off chance that you make the most of your work and have a career that you are truly passionate about, you’ll be less inclined to hook onto your loved one to be the sole provider to fill your passion bucket.

Show yourself that you have value in this world outside of your relationship. Invest your energy in a manner that exhibits how important you are to this society. Develop yourself. Gain proficiency with other expertise. Take an online class on something you are interested in but never considered in the past. Go on an intriguing excursion. Become a more well-rounded individual to help grow as an individual.

Establish solid boundaries for the relationships that you are involved in

 Each relationship has limits and regardless of whether you are discussing a friend, partner, or family member, there needs to be clear cut boundaries establish for that relationship to be successful. Those individuals who may demonstrate codependency may have limits and boundaries that are less than rock solid, which can barrel down at the sign of anything challenging that may occur. Set up some sensible boundaries for each relationship that you are involved in. This can incorporate the way we manage our financial situations, the ways we talk with one another, how we manage our inner circles, to the way we manage conflict and differences in these relationships.

Start slowing with establishing these boundaries. Incorporating boundaries into any of our relationships is challenging at first, as this may be something outside of the norm from how others have known you to communicate. Help yourself to remember the previous issues you may have encountered by turning out to cling on to a relationship too early. By taking the time to slowly set those boundaries yet open and forthright with your words, your relationship will continue and grow more meaningful and closer over time.

When managing codependency, be true to yourself

Another critical error in managing codependency in a relationship involves a person losing their ability to be themselves with their loved one. Reiterate to yourself that you are both different individuals with different skill sets and attributes that you bring to the table. You have your own inclinations, character, and personality. This builds your overall identity as an individual. Always keep up those factors in your head. The ability for a couple to bridge uniqueness of individuality into their relationship will bring them closer together in a more productive manner.

Take time to work on the value of you

An absence of confidence is the center issue with many people who suffer with codependent tendencies. Take a chance to help work on looking at the value you bring to your own and other lives are probably the most ideal approaches to invest your energy as well as your time. At the point when you can identify the value in yourself, it is much simpler to keep up other roles that you may hold in various relationships.

Seek professionals who are trained in managing codependency

Studies have illustrated that most people who have codependent tendencies were raised by families who tended to be more demanding. They have been brought up in looking for validation and the value of acceptance from their parents. This will most certainly rehash itself in future connections at varying levels of severity. A trained counselor can help to get to the root cause of the codependent behaviors to help you build a road map to living your life to your fullest potential.

Managing codependency in a relationship takes effort but emphasis should still be focused on making each moment count, as we are only awarded a finite amount of moments in our lives. Codependency is a harmful relationship behavior that goes after low confidence and a requirement for validation. Be your own authentic self in any relationship that you partake in. Figure out how to value your individuality by making a fulfilling and intriguing life. Focus on your confidence. Lastly, discover who you truly are and appreciate being yourself.


Nicole O’Hare, MS, LPC, CMHIMP is a Licensed Professional Counselor and  Certified Mental Health Integrative Medicine Provider at A Beautiful Soul Holistic Counseling in Chandler, AZ along with completing Level 3 training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy, which allows her to provide tools on helping couples communicate effectively and transform their relationship, which offering a more holistic and integrative approach to achieve optimal health and wellness while preventing common mental health problems. You can find her on: Instagram | Facebook | Twitter


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